Since I began blogging, it has taken me through a roller coaster of emotions. I fell in love with every aspect of it, and my blog has grown so much more than I ever imagined it would. The bloggy world has so much to it that you never really understand until you're a part of it. There's a blog 'language' we have to learn, coding, design, writing, promoting, and connecting with others. I love it all. But sometimes, it can be extremely discouraging. I often find myself comparing my blog to others. She always has so many comments on her blog. This blog has so many more readers than mine. This blogger is a better designer.
I know its bad, and I shouldn't define my success based on the success of others. Sometimes I'm so proud of my blog, but other times I feel like I could make it better. On some posts I get amazing responses, and some I hardly get any, which I know is natural, but I want to make it a point to always write posts that are intriguing and interesting to you all. It can be so discouraging to put yourself out there and not get the response- the support- that you're looking for. I have close to 1,000 followers, but I feel like I don’t have that many readers. I could care less about numbers if my ‘followers’ aren’t actually reading my content. I know that I never post anything super helpful or eye opening, but I want my words to actually mean something…at least to someone. As much as I’m writing for myself- as an outlet for my feelings, I want to write for others as well.
Then there are times when I look over my blog and realize that my personality doesn't necessarily come out as much as I would like it to. I'm always extremely sarcastic, I always joke around, and I'm often inappropriate (sorry). But I feel like I had that on my blog a little sometimes. I don't know if I do it because I don't want to offend people, or because I don't want some of the people I know in real life to read what I write and judge me. Sometimes I wish that I hadn't come out to my real friends and family about my blog. It restricts some of the things I can say, some of the things I want to write about. Does anyone else ever feel that way?
I'm not writing this to say that I'm not proud of my blog and its success in just four months. I'm extremely grateful for those of you that come and read what I have to say every day. But this blog is my outlet, a place for me to share my thoughts and feelings. I try to keep it happy around here, but I'm also honest about my feelings. I wrote this not knowing where it would take me, I just needed to get my feelings out there. But as I hear myself complaining, I realize that I need to stay positive. The best thing I can do is take a step back and realize how truly blessed I am. I really love all of you- the entire blogging community, really. So from here on out, I'm going to appreciate this blog a little more, and even put a little more effort into it. Most importantly, I'm going to stop comparing it to others. Who's with me?!