1.04.2014

blogging can be hard


Since I began blogging, it has taken me through a roller coaster of emotions. I fell in love with every aspect of it, and my blog has grown so much more than I ever imagined it would. The bloggy world has so much to it that you never really understand until you're a part of it. There's a blog 'language' we have to learn, coding, design, writing, promoting, and connecting with others. I love it all. But sometimes, it can be extremely discouraging. I often find myself comparing my blog to others. She always has so many comments on her blog. This blog has so many more readers than mine. This blogger is a better designer. 
blog, blogger, discouraging, comparing success, blogging is hard
I know its bad, and I shouldn't define my success based on the success of others. Sometimes I'm so proud of my blog, but other times I feel like I could make it better. On some posts I get amazing responses, and some I hardly get any, which I know is natural, but I want to make it a point to always write posts that are intriguing and interesting to you all. It can be so discouraging to put yourself out there and not get the response- the support- that you're looking for. I have close to 1,000 followers, but I feel like I don’t have that many readers. I could care less about numbers if my ‘followers’ aren’t actually reading my content. I know that I never post anything super helpful or eye opening, but I want my words to actually mean something…at least to someone. As much as I’m writing for myself- as an outlet for my feelings, I want to write for others as well.

Then there are times when I look over my blog and realize that my personality doesn't necessarily come out as much as I would like it to. I'm always extremely sarcastic, I always joke around, and I'm often inappropriate (sorry). But I feel like I had that on my blog a little sometimes. I don't know if I do it because I don't want to offend people, or because I don't want some of the people I know in real life to read what I write and judge me. Sometimes I wish that I hadn't come out to my real friends and family about my blog.  It restricts some of the things I can say, some of the things I want to write about. Does anyone else ever feel that way?

I'm not writing this to say that I'm not proud of my blog and its success in just four months. I'm extremely grateful for those of you that come and read what I have to say every day. But this blog is my outlet, a place for me to share my thoughts and feelings. I try to keep it happy around here, but I'm also honest about my feelings. I wrote this not knowing where it would take me, I just needed to get my feelings out there. But as I hear myself complaining, I realize that I need to stay positive. The best thing I can do is take a step back and realize how truly blessed I am. I really love all of you- the entire blogging community, really. So from here on out, I'm going to appreciate this blog a little more, and even put a little more effort into it. Most importantly, I'm going to stop comparing it to others. Who's with me?!

I updated my sponsorship options so check them out here. Also, congratulate Melissa because she's gettin' hitched! Check out my guest post on her blog today :)
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28 comments:

  1. Lately I feel like the blogging community is getting a little competitive which honestly bums me out. This is my hobby and one area of my life that isn't a competition, you know? Anyway, #realtalk I read a lot of blogs and don't leave comments.... so I know you're making an impact on people. I <3 you! Just be yourself and your readers will love you for it!

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  2. You should be EXTREMLY proud of your blog... I'm proud OF you! You know how much I love you... just wait until Wednesday when you my love letter post to you goes up - then EVERYONE will know my love for you!!! ;P
    I hear you on the followers vs. readers thing. I get discouraged when I see other blogs with more followers than mine. There are a LOT. Like, pretty much all blogs. But, then I see their comments and realize I get more. That makes me feel good because I know I'm connecting with people, which is what I'm here to do. We've all had those posts that haven't been as well received as we anticipated, so don't let that get you down either. You can't ALWAYS be on. No one is.
    My family and friends don't know about my blog except for a handful of them. I'm exactly the same on my blog as I am in real life EXCEPT for talking about deep feelings... those are things I share with a rare few people in my "real" life because I'm just not comfortable sharing serious feelings for some reason. I can talk about poop all day long with a total stranger... but feelings? That's a different ballgame. So, I get how you feel in that regard, too. That's why for now I'm still limiting the # of people who know about my blog in my "real" life. It may change one day, but, for now it's what I'm comfortable with. Do what YOU are comfortable with. It's different for everyone. :)
    And I hope you enjoyed this long ass bedtime story. :) haha

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  3. Blogging is hard. Congratulations on how much you've accomplished in four months. :) Just keep being you and try not to compare yourself to others. Your blog is yours; always write what you want.

    As I wrote the above things, they were nice reminders for me, too. :) I hope your weekend has been great!

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  4. I completely agree. This is something I've always struggled with. I always tell myself that I don't blog for other people, I blog for myself. And then I find myself envying others because not only do they blog with 4382329543958420290 followers, but they design and it's amazing. It's hard to feel like I'll get anywhere, but we've all started somewhere, right? Your blog is your blog. Say what you want. I've always been afraid to post what I want, especially since I deal with anxiety and depression and my parents always tell me how sad and down my blog is but ya know what, when I post things that are real and raw, more people relate to that then my 2014 word of the year... I mean come on, we all blog to write because it's therapeutic.

    great post!

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  5. I know completely what you are saying. There are days when I jump with joy realizing oh my gosh I have new followers, or look I got several responses on this post, or look I got an email from a brand. Then there are days where I get nothing, no new looks, no new comments and I think man...why is everyone ignoring me. lol It is an emotional roller coaster all the time, no matter how many months, years you have been doing it.

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  6. Although you would never guess now, I have fallen into the trap many times over the years of "trying too hard" with the blog. I've also switched platforms like they were hot potatoes, which hasn't helped. I think perhaps the important thing is to share, regardless of how popular the posts appear to be, or how engaged the audience appears to be. Although I've only been following you for a couple of days, I'm loving your writing.

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  7. i struggled with this for a long time; i felt that i wasn't really being true to myself through my blog because i'm hella rude, what i say IRL is usually all jokes and swears and baloney but i wasn't doing that on my blog which was weird because it's MY BLOG and i should be able to write what i want, amirite?! but like you, i was afraid of offending people, especially the few readers i already had.

    so i started off slow. i really don't know why but i guess i was trying to 'transition' my (at the time) current writing to how i really wanted to write and would throw in a few curse words here or there just to "test the waters" (which really meant: would i still get comments?"). then i started doing my "random tuesdays" all killer no filler posts where i write what i want with zero filter. that was liberating. i really started looking forward to tuesday posts because that was really me coming out.

    and then i suddenly realized "if people don't like my posts, they don't have to read them!" and that was the end of that. then i let it all hang out and it all went downhill from there and by that, i mean it was totally awesome. i actually GAINED readership and some of the stuff i write is downright hideous and by that, i mean full of curse words and nonsense. strange right? the thing i was most afraid of actually increased traffic to my site. that, and lurking the shit out of everyone.

    so i say be true to yourself. you will be MUCH happier for it and your readers will love it. we all love swearing and jokes and this is the INTERWEBZ where it's full of that yet people still come back, right? so write how YOU want to write, Brianna!! i fully support that :)

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  8. I know exactly what you mean. I have been blogging for 2 and a half years and I often see blog that have been going less than a year than me and have way more followers and I often get jealous. and ask my self how did they do that? what am I doing wrong? why don't people like my blog? And like you i am very funny in a sarcastic way but this don't come across on my blog. I am scared of offending people and losing readers, but we have to remember, that this is what makes us different and we should blog about whatever we like and express ourselves more

    Natasha @ Serenity you

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  9. I totally understand you friend . It is always exciting to blog but sometimes , a lot of factors are so tough in it . Like comparing , I do so too and it is really , really natural. Keep doing your good work girl :)

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  10. Blogging is HARD. And lately I've found it's getting harder instead of easier. I feel some pressure to sponsor blogs, offer sponsorships, participate in giveaways. Although sponsoring blogs has turned out to be a really positive experience it means that I feel like I really need to post magnificent things and have all kinds of witty and hilarious things to say about my adventures or deep spiritual reflection. And somedays I just want to write about why I love gummy bears.
    I think the key is to blog for yourself and not compare yourself to others, even though we all do it. And I know how sucky it feels when you write what you think is a really stellar post, hit publish and come back later to find nobody has commented or even read it. My real life friends don't know about my blog, some of them know I have a blog but it's never been a real topic of conversation. I still censor myself because I wouldn't want them to find my blog and then read about themselves or feel as though I've been talking about them behind their back. It's a tricky balance!
    Your blog is one I look forward to reading each day and I hope you keep it up!

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  11. I think we all feel the way you feel. Blogging is definitely tricky and challenging and requires a lot of time and attention. The good thing though, we're all (mostly) in the same boat and finding people to lift you up and support you is almost always easier here in Blogland than in real life even. :D

    LittleBirdBlogs

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  12. i think the important thing is blogging for yourself first. also i totally know what you mean about wishing some friends/family didn't know about my blog, it restricts me sometimes as well!

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  13. Blogging definitely can be frustrating. It sucks when you pour your heart into something and get very little feedback. Then someone else could blog about "fluff," getting drunk, or something ridiculous and get like 100 comments. I just know who I am and who I'm not. I'm never going to be the single girl (I'm married) talking about her endless dates or getting drunk (I'm almost 30. I'm outgrown that). So, a lot of people are not going to find me interesting.

    I have been doing the Project 365 for three years and those are probably my least commented posts. It sucks, but the project is for me. It still hurts though. I've been blogging for 10+ years, but Whitney @ EHFAR has been up and running for five years. I feel incredibly jealous when bloggers have 1000 or even 5000 followers in one year. It has taken me five years to get where I am, and I'm nowhere near where I want to be.

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    1. It has taken me five years to have almost 1100 followers.

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    2. I completely agree blogging is hard, and it's hard to keep focus on your blog & while other ppl who just started have 2x as many followers. I just try to keep my eyes on my own page & be happy with accomplishments. I love coming to your blog & reading what's going with you.

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  14. i empathize completely. blogging *is* hard. and i often have to remind myself that i do it for me, and for others who are impacted by what i write--not for sheer numbers. for that reason i rarely participate in some bloggy activities like trading likes because i want my followers to follow because they like what i have to say, not because they might win a contest or they felt obligated.
    i'm with you and good luck! :)

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  15. Comparison is the thief of joy. My mantra, if you will, because I do this all the time. It's especially prominent in blogging. There is so much "competition," even if we don't want to look at it that way. It used to bother me to be blogging to seemingly no one, but then I tried to retarget the other writers I was meeting, and it has be so much more rewarding. I've found at least 10 bloggers who consistently comment and read my blog, and that has been enough to keep me writing. They feel like friends now, and I don't feel the pressure to be "one of the big names" because I'm no where close enough, and it still feels okay.

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  16. It surprises me how many of the comments state "Blogging is hard". I totally blown away by this statement repeated over and over again. I think we all need to stop a moment and think about the reason we started blogging. For me it's an outlet to vent, hope, dream and wonder about myself and the universe and how I fit into it all. If someone wants to follow and/or read along that's great. Mostly, though I blog for me. I think you're doing a terrific job with your blog and I encourage you to be yourself. There will always be someone who you may offend no matter how careful you are. xxx

    Barbara @ www.allmylivesnow.com

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  17. Just do it for you and don't worry about anyone else. I know what you mean about wishing you'd kept it anonymous though- I feel the same way!

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  18. I am still very new at blogging compared to other bloggers and I completely understand when you say that it is hard at times. Yes, I enjoy writing and reading others stories. No, I don't always have the most intriguing content (which I'm trying to work on). I think my latest post is a little better than most of my other posts. Personally, I think your blog is fantastic! I wish I had the traffic that you have. Since I am a new blogger I see your blog is an inspiration.

    sincerely,
    www.boardingtogether.blogspot.com

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  19. I totally understand how you feel. I have been feeling frustrated lately because my blog isn't growing like I want it to and I've been blogging for 18 months. You are doing great with your blog and you've accomplished so much in 4 months.

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  20. I totally feel this way and even took a hiatus last year for a while because I just felt like I couldn't keep up. Sometimes I just don't feel like getting a post out and worrying about blogging every aspect of my life. I think that break helped me realize that I need to blog for myself and not to please everyone. I love that I have my regular commenters and it makes me happy getting an email notification, but sometimes I get nothing and it bums me out, but you have to know at the end of the day if you're happy with the content that you put out then that's all that matters. Know that you have a reader in me!!

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  21. In me, you have a follower AND a reader. Always. I love your blog! I have a "favs" category on my BlogLovin feed and you're in it!!!

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  22. I relate to so much of this! It's so impressive what you've accomplished in 4 months, but that doesn't change how hard blogging can be. I know I suffer from comparison. The part that really stood out to be was when you wrote about your personality in your writing. In person I'm super sassy and often times really sarcastic. I hesitate to be myself when I'm writing because I'm afraid of what others will think. I'll read others blogs that seem to have a "voice" and I'll try writing like them, but that just comes across really awkward! Thanks so much for sharing! It's nice to know I'm not crazy and other people have these thoughts too!

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  23. I can related what you just posted! I have always compared myself to others which is wrong! I can't be them and they can't be me. One thing that really upsets me too is about followers and readers. When I first started blog, I wanted followers, there was no one to tell me the importance of "readers", I feel so tired sometimes but I'd never give up! You should be proud of YOU Briana! Your blog is still new to bloggyland but it's awesome! I know the feeling and it's the worst part of blogging but keep the head up! Love you lady!

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  24. If it helps, when I see your blog I think that I'll never get to where you are! To me, you're one of 'those' great blogs. So keep up the good work!

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  25. Brianna, I found your blog from Amanda at Voyage of the MeeMee. I instantly compared myself to you, I do to Amanda too. You guys started out right around the same time I did and your pool is full of followers. I'm amazed and a little in ah. I mean I'm thrilled I have 140 readers, but geez, you guys are worlds away from me. I guess it's just human nature to compare.

    As for coming out to family and friends IRL. I couldn't agree more. I wish I had kept Brass Honey my little secret. It definitely keeps me from posting on certain topics. The longer I do this though the more comfortable I get though. Ultimately I think I'll end up writing about some of the things I'm keeping private for now because at the end of the day, this is about me. It's about my journey, my life and I truly truly want to open up and share the real me with people.

    Chin up. I'm a new READER and am looking forward to getting to know you better.

    XO,
    Shannon

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  26. I just started to take my blog more seriously, and you're right- it is hard. I go through the phases- the stages of comparison. But mostly, I've been going through the "how the heck did all these people learn to do this all? Is there a book? How do I get more readers?!" phase.

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