I've been thinking a lot about the friendships I have. I'm going to be moving away this year, and I'm not going to be seeing a lot of my friends every day like I do now. It makes me wonder who I'm actually going to stay friends with, and who I'll lose touch with. It sounds bad, but I'm not good at keeping in touch with people when I'm not around them. I know that I have some really good friends that will always be there for me, but when I think about it, there are some people I just don't care to have in my life.
I think about what makes someone a "friend." There are some people I consider friends, but I probably shouldn't. I have some friends that abuse our friendship. I have friends that act like they're my friend, but when it comes down to it, they aren't there for me. Some of those people are people that I thought I was really close with, but they've proved me wrong. I'm really good at giving second chances. And third chances. And fourth. But at what point do I just stop trying? And how do you tell someone you're done?
I complain to DJ about it a lot, and he always tells me that they aren't worth my time. That I shouldn't let it bother me. That at this point, I should expect it from these people. He's right. I don't need people in my life that are only going to cause me stress. I'm tired of having fake friends. I'm tired of people being my friend only when they need something. I'm tired of getting my hopes up thinking, "Okay, this time she'll change," and being disappointed. If someone can't take that time to text me back ever, or come see me when we live five minutes away, why should I be there when they need me?
What is a real friend? To me, a real friend is there for you as much as you're there for them. A real friend makes you laugh, makes your day better- not stresses you out or makes you sad. Sure, people aren't perfect. I'm sure I'm not always a great friend. But a real friend tries.
I'm so thankful for the friends I do have. The friends that are there for me and will be there for me even when I'm not living here for a while. I'm thankful for my amazing boyfriend who's also my best friend. I'm thankful for new friends like C Town and K Camp (who really need to get their asses to Tucson!).
what do you think makes a real friend?
I know how you feel. I've been struggling with this a lot lately and was wondering if i was brave enough to share. So its nice to know I'm not alone. And I hope you know that you're not either. Quality over quantity, right?
ReplyDeleteIt is a sad reality, we all have to deal with the so-called "fake" friends. I value friendship like I value family. Hang in there, as long as you know who your true friends are...you'll be OK :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so with you here. Now a days folks dont know what a true friend is or even what friendship is. I value friendship and put major effort into them just like I do everything else. I've had folks that said they were my friend and never put the effort in like I did or didnt put any at all. I mean, I text my friends daily if not every other day and my friends know who they are and what not. You have those that jeopardize the friendships they make and they dont give a dang about it. hope you're ok girl and you'll know who's true and who's not. Those true friends stay by your side regardless.
ReplyDeletenightowlventing02.blogspot.com
Fake friends do suck!!! It's hard to watch friends you thought so much of, turn away like the friendship didn't matter.
ReplyDeleteSo so true!
ReplyDeleteThis is something I've dealt with for my whole life. Out of all of the "friends" I've had in my life, I have one from my young childhood years, one from elementary school and one from my middle/high school years that I still consider to be friends. Everyone else slipped away and made no effort to keep in touch, even when I tried my best to do so with them. The ones who are only your friend when it's convenient for them are the absolute worst!
ReplyDeletei had a friend that i loved dearly and would have done anything for but she never made an effort to hang out and was incredibly flaky. after a while, i let her go. it was such a relief
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. I think as you get older, you become less tolerant of people. Your life will become so much busier and filled with things that are so much more important - you'll soon see that you don't have the time or energy to try to keep some friendships "alive." It also makes the girlfriends that are tried and true even more special.
ReplyDeleteSo true. I can relate. There are real friends, fake friends, and toxic friends. But seriously, life is a whole lot better when spent with real friends, time is too short to spend with people who don't really care about you as much as you care for them. A few of my friends moved away, I myself moved away and yet there are those friends who are still here despite the time and distance, friends who manage to make an effort to keep in touch despite their super busy schedules.
ReplyDeleteTrue friends are there for you in good times and bad at the drop of a hat, whether it be in person or through a phone call if they're far away. They're people you can trust, without having to say: "Don't say anything..." to. People who have your best interests at heart and want to see you succeed.
ReplyDeleteYou're a real friend of mine. And I've met you once. Is that weird? ...I didn't think so either =)
ReplyDelete