what I learned from being in a relationship

Well, you all know that I'm in a serious relationship. If you don't know that, get wit it because it's basically all I talk about. It was the reason I started this blog, it's my inspiration for most of my posts, and it's the one thing in my life that brings me pure happiness. Dj and I have a pretty mature relationship I'd say, and over the course of this past year, I've learned so much. I've learned from both being in a serious relationship and from my handsome man himself.

You can't compare your relationship to others
This is something I've struggled with personally for a long time, and I've mentioned that a few times before around here. But I think that it also applies to relationships. I've never compared my relationship with Dj to others' in a negative way, but I've been around people who have, and I've seen what this can do to relationships. Every relationship dynamic is different, and people's happiness can't be defined by comparing it to the happiness of others.

Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do
Relationships are compromise. Sometimes I have to watch Sports Center and sometimes Dj gets stuck watching Say Yes to the Dress marathons. But that's love, right? I think that this is something a lot of people forget. As relationships grow and you get comfortable around someone, it's not uncommon to become a little selfish. I've experiences it before in past relationships, and I've seen it happen to people around me. I think that it's so important to keep in mind that sometimes you have to put your wants aside and do something for the sake of your loved one's happiness.

Communication is more important than you think
Seriously. A lack of communication can be a relationship killer. Being in this relationship with Dj I've learned that talking about things is absolutely the best way to deal with any issues that arise. Whenever I'm feeling down, have concerns, or I'm not happy about something, I tell him. He always makes me feel better and we always work things out by talking through it. We never really fight because we handle our disagreements really well. Especially being in a long distance relationship, we've gotten really good at communicating.

You should never have to settle
I've mentioned before that I was in a pretty bad relationship all of high school. I was treated like crap, and looking back I have no clue why I put up with it. I thought he was the best I could have, because I didn't realize that there are guys out there that would treat me with respect. I think that today there is this idea that chivalry is completely dead and that men do not know how to treat women. But I can assure you that that's not true. Dj is an amazing man, and he treats me like a girl should be treated. He's a gentleman, he's respectful, and he loves and takes care of me every day. He made me realize that settling for something less than you deserve should never be an option, because there are people out there that are worth it.

The little things matter
I think this is a huge one. Whether its surprising each other, helping with the boring stuff like laundry, complementing each other, or just showing each other affection, it all makes such a difference. I never really realized this until I started dating DJ. He always does things for me, and shows me how much he loves me. I honestly get so happy from the smallest things he says/does, and I know that I'm so lucky. You don't realize how much those things matter until you see how a relationship can suffer without them. It's hard being in a long distance relationship to show someone how much you care everyday, but I'm honestly so lucky that Dj and I never stop doing those little things to show each other that we care.

What have you learned from your relationship?

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  1. Comprise and communication are key. Being in a long distance relationship before moving abroad it was very important for us to have good communication. And our entire relationship is based around one big compromise, which country do we live in? Both are important aspects of our relationship, and laughing, lots of laughing.

  2. I love this!! We did the long distance thing when we first got together and it was all about good communication. We had an interesting story that I don't recommend but it totally works for us b/c we talk about it. ALL. THE. TIME!!

  3. It is really hard to not compare your relationship to others'. I struggle with that too. But when I take and accept it for exactly what it is, everyone else aside, it feels good. The thing I still struggle with is nagging too much.

  4. I struggle with comparing my relationships with others since we are in a long distance relationship. It's so hard to not want what others have.

  5. Long distance is HARD. I did it for a couple years and man... it was one of the roughest periods of my life. I think that MOST of the success depends on the people. He was a dick so y'know... hahaha

  6. I want my fiancee to read this post. Do you mind if I take this idea and run with it on my own? Crediting you, of course.

  7. All of these are absolutely so important if you want a relationship to last!

  8. What have I learned from my relationship? That its not existent. IM FUNNY HI

  9. LDRs are definitely hard! I was in one for two years and at one point we had to wait six months before seeing each other for just a week (we were 4000 miles apart). Good on you for learning so much from the experience and sharing it with the rest!

  10. That I'm not always right.
    It's okay to be wrong ;)
    At least, sometimes!

  11. Very wise girlie! I've also learned that women are NOT the mother in the relationship, so we have no right to nag and that it's okay to be wrong. As a matter of fact, every time one of us admits that we are wrong of our own volition, our relationship strengthens. PS. fighting is TOTALLY okay as long as it's just hashing out the problem and not bringing up old crap or abusive. In fact, I love our random fights because we get to have great make up sex ;)

  12. I adore this post so much! So good to see other happy couples! You right though you should never settle. I love being able to be honest with my man and tell him hey I didn't like when you did that and he seriously takes it to heart and will work on not doing whatever said thing was! You guys seem incredibly happy!

  13. Communication, compromise and forgiveness are everything! I've been married to the most amazing man for 9 years now, there are days where these things don't come easy. All the effort is absolutely worth it though.

  14. I was in long distance relationship for a while and its so true you cant compare your relationship to others - you always want to but you just need to remember that you guys rock! Also, the worst part about relationships is that people try to ask everyone for advice but just know that you and only you (and him) know your relationship better than anyone :)

  15. I wish I could tell all of these things to my single friends or my friends in a not so healthy relationship. It is all so important.

  16. These are all SO TRUE. Coming from another chica in a serious relationship, I believe these all 100%. PREACH, GIRL. Comparisons are deadly, Compromises are essential, and good Communication is the cornerstone to a good relationship, because you need to be on the same page always. LOVE this!
    My own thoughts on love and relationships...
    5 Rules for Dating: http://cominguprosestheblog.com/2013/10/16/5-rules-for-dating/
    When you think you've found "The One": http://cominguprosestheblog.com/2013/12/04/when-you-think-youve-found-the-one/
    How to find your Soul Mate: A Lesson for the Semi-Oblivious: http://cominguprosestheblog.com/2014/01/08/how-to-find-your-soul-mate-a-lesson-for-the-semi-oblivious/