I'm addicted to social media. But aren't we all? Bloggers without social media is like macaroni without cheese. Which is just pasta. Which I guess is still good so that was a bad example. How about a blogger without social media is like a fish without water? That's dramatic. But I think you get the point. So where were we? I'm always on social media. I have a routine. I check Facebook which usually has nothing new because I just checked it like five minutes ago. Then I check Twitter which usually has some funny tweets from Whale Facts or Antijoke apple because they're my favorite. By the way I'm so happy because DJ is following Pizza on Twitter and I think thats so funny. Anyway, then I check the Insta which usually leads to me stalking myself and wishing I was back in Germany. Woof. That was a lot. But where am I going with this? I forgot and had to take a break because I literally couldn't remember what this post was supposed to be about. Tuesdays are not my days. Anyway, being on social media all the time, there are those people that really bug you. You know who I'm talking about.
The constant selfie instagrammer.
A few selfies are fine. We all have those days where our hair is on point or we just want everyone to know how good we look, right? But three selfies a day? NO. We know what you look like. We've seen your duck face. We know that the caption "I look so ugly today" is a cry for attention. Oh, your boobs just happen to look HUGE in that picture and you didn't realize it? Yeah, okay. Multiple Instagrams a day are annoying, but if its multiple selfies- get out.
The giveaway tweeter.
Okay who doesn't love free stuff? I sure do. I even entered my first Instagram giveaway yesterday which I NEVER do because I don't like posting those kinds of things on the Insta...but free Starbucks? Count me in. Tweets are always worth more points in giveaways, I get it. But if you tweet ten giveaway links in a row, buh-bye *hairflip emoji* I don't want your spam crap on my news feed. Or whatever its called on Twitter. Tweed (twitter+feed) see? I'm funny.
The pity poster.
These are the ones that are clearly posts for attention. You know, the dramatic "everyone hates me, my life sucks" posts. Then when someone asks whats wrong they suddenly don't want to talk about it because they're too busy being a drama queen. "Everything is falling apart. I can't do anything right." Translation: Feel sorry for me and tell me how amazing I am. Or that song lyric thats super dramatic and clearly they posted it for a reason, but when no one comments on it and asks whats wrong they post another "life sucks" status because that'll surely make someone comment. They're the ones who post the "I'm ugly" pictures just so people will tell them they're pretty...attention seeking whores.
I understand that you're excited that you just had a baby. I'm happy for you. But I don't want to know how much you're bleeding still or how well your child is latching or how much your vag hurts (I have too many of these on Facebook...this is not a drill.) I'm sorry you have a kidney infection, but please don't post pictures of your urine on Facebook. (Also a true story.) I'm all for a tweet about pooping and other funny things, but some people share way too much and its gross and I can't handle it.
The boyfriend basher.
I can never understand this one. Not every relationship is perfect, obviously. But who would bash their husband/boyfriend on Facebook? If you have issues, deal with it. When you post about how guys suck we obviously know you're talking about the guy you're with. Like how embarrassing would it be to go on Facebook and see that your boyfriend/girlfriend posted a status about how you better start treating him(her) right?! Not okay. It's embarrassing and rude and you're obviously immature if you think a tweet is going to solve your relationship problems. Oh, and we can see what you "Like" on Facebook so every time you like a picture with a cheesy quote about how you deserve better, we see it.