10.29.2013

positively positive

Why do I always get randomly inspired late at night when I really need to be sleeping? Not good when I have to be in class in the morning. I also told myself I need to wake up early tomorrow and run before class. We'll see if that actually happens.

I wanted to talk about something that's been very important in my life lately. Positivity.
Staying positive is something that I struggle with sometimes. I mean generally, I'm a positive and happy person. But being in a long distance relationship, sometimes its hard to be positive. Not that I doubt my relationship- I completely 2000% know that being in a long distance relationship will be worth it once I'm with Handsome forever. But sometimes its so hard to embrace suck and see past these tough times without sulking.

Sometimes I let the negative thoughts flood my head. 
Why does he have to be so far away?
Why can't I just leave school and be with him?
How am I supposed to get through these next few months without him?
I feel sorry for myself, and I wish that Handsome and I were together.

I think about the amazing times we share and while it fills my heart with complete and utter happiness, it makes me sad because I want it every single day. Some days, I focus on the fact that I'll get to see him again in [47] days. But other times, I miss him so much and it hurts so bad. I want him here with me while I'm doing everything, and I want to be there with him for everything too. All I can focus on is the fact that he is there and I am here. 

I'm officially done with that, though. I'm focusing on the good. How can I be sad when I get to share my life with the most amazing man I've ever met? Sure, we're apart now, but soon I'll be spending my forever with him. Why dwell on the fact that I'm not with him when I should be counting my blessings and appreciating my fairy tale relationship- one better than I always have dreamed of? How can I resent the fact that were apart when it has been an essential part of making our relationship so strong? Although it can be rough at times, and I miss him more than anything in the world, being in a long distance relationship has made us so incredibly strong. We don't take the small things for granted. We appreciate each other, and our time together, so much more. Of course the goodbyes are so unbelievably hard (we end up sitting in the airport crying for like 45 minutes each time), the hellos are always that much sweeter.


So, for the past few days, I've been focusing on the good, and I feel great. Partly because I'm proud of myself for not drowning in my own sadness, and mostly because thinking positively = being happy.

When I feel down, the one thing that makes me feel better is talking about it. When I'm sad, I tell him, and he makes me feel a million times better. Sometimes all it takes is for him to tell me everything is going to be okay, and sometimes I need more than that. But either way, when I express how I feel, its a million times easier to get through it. 

People always say you shouldn't keep things that are bothering you bottled up. Handsome and I are very fortunate, for our relationship has been so easy and fun. We understand each other and appreciate each other. But if there's ever something that bothers me, I always tell him. Right away. I was afraid at first- I didn't want to burden him with my problems and insecurities. But when I have something weighing on my heart, and I tell him, it literally feels like that weight has been lifted. I don't know how to explain that overwhelming feeling of comfort I get when I talk to him, but it amazes me. He amazes me.

So here's to being positive and finding that special someone that can make you feel better with even just a smile!

Who is that someone for you?
new sig

10 comments:

  1. I'm thinking of you!!! My husband and I were also a long distance couple. From the time we started dating to almost five years later when we finally married. I only saw him maybe a total of 10 weeks out of the 52 a year. It was hard on my heart but like you, it made our relationship so much stronger, our love passionate, and our friendship deeper. It's also helped me in our current state. While we now live together, I don't see him too much. He works 12 hour days, but is gone almost 14 with commutes. He comes home and immediately heads to our office to study and prep for his next day of work. We usually only get a real conversation on weekends. That might drive some woman insane, but because we had a LDR so long, I realize how lucky I am to see him everyday. To get a goodnight kiss and fall asleep in his arms. To wake up next to him. It means the world to me because for five years, I didn't have that!! Long distance relationships are hard but oh so worth it. Even when the long distance ends, we appreciate each other more, recognize the little mundane moments as huge moments, and cherish every second. I think you do an amazing job of handling it all. You're a strong woman with a strong relationship and an amazing guy!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thinking of you girl!! I was in a long distance relationship and it was so very hard, but the time we got to together was worth every second!! Keep your head up it will get better and only 47 days you are in the home stretch baby girl :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Prayers that it gets easier for you soon! Distance is never easy, but it will be oh so worth it in the end when you get to be with him! And it's wonderful that you can talk to him when things are bothering you! Sometimes, that's the hardest thing to admit, but it's also one of the most important things to do. I've found that my relationship with my fiance strengthens every time I admit that something is wrong and we work through it!

    Jamie @
    The Growing Up Diaries

    ReplyDelete
  4. From what I've seen so far, you two are strong enough to handle this! "Distance means so little when the one you miss means so much." :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are so young but yet so wise! love what you have to say!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sometimes it is so hard to be positive, but it is what we need! My husband is in the Navy, so we have definately experienced the difficulty of being in a long distance relationship. The one good thing is that it makes us appreciate the time we do have together that much more!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Distance in relationships is nothing but a challenge. Each relationship has its test, and distance is definitely yours. As long as you two stay on the same page, things should be okay. Be open and honest with each other, and you'll be smooth sailing. Continue being positive, girl! That's the way to do it :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hear you on this. But your relationship will be so much stronger once you guys are closer. My husband and I have been married for 7 years and we have probably spent more time apart then together. The military life will do that to you. But the reconnection after weeks or months apart is priceless! You are right, you appreciate the time you do have together, you do not let the small things get to you because there is so much more to overcome. I think it is okay to have those sad moments, and share them with one another because inevitably he is thinking them too. So talk it out and keep pushing forward. You guys sound so sweet and in love :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Just stay strong and keep your head up!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I can so relate! And you know, sometimes it's okay to be down about it. It IS hard. Most people don't understand, and you kind of want to punch them when they say their significant other will be away for the weekend and they don't know how they'll get by (eye roll!). Your focus on staying positive and seeing the good is awesome. Let yourself feel what you feel! You're so close! I'm excited for you!

    ReplyDelete