i need balance

I should really be doing homework right now, but there's really no better time to blog, right? I'm an expert procrastinator and I hate it sometimes. I feel like I've been so busy lately and I haven't had time to just sit down and get stuff done. When I'm at work (I'm a nanny), the baby is always so fussy that I can't get anything done. Literally nothing. When I get home I'm too tired to do anything except what's due the next day. When I get home from class I'm exhausted and the last thing I want to think about is homework. I really need more time in the day.

I can only imagine what next semester is going to be like. You might've seen on Twitter that I'm saving up to graduate this December. Technically, I should be graduating May 2016, but I'm going to pull off graduating a year and a half early, thank goodness. But I have to bust my ass. I have to take three classes this summer, and then seven next semester. It sounds like a lot, but I'm taking six now so I know I can do it! The thought of being able to go live with DJ this year makes it all worth it.

But I definitely feel overwhelmed. I've accepted some really great opportunities lately in blog land, but on top of school and work, I'm starting to worry I might be taking on too much. I don't want the content on the blog to suffer from me being too busy, but by the time I get everything done that I need to for school and everything I feel like I have no time. I didn't have a post scheduled for today, so here I am rambling.

I love my blog, and I would never give it up, but sometimes I wonder why I stress myself out about it so much. Why do I have to post five times a day? Why does my content have to be amazing every day? Sure, it'll help my blog grow. But why do I care so much? This isn't my job. Its a hobby. A hobby that I only started six months ago. Sometimes I question why, as bloggers, we put up with the rude comments, the competition, and the stress that comes with our hobby. Sure, its rewarding. Blogging is amazing. The community is amazing. But do we take it too seriously sometimes?

I'm speaking for myself here, but I think I definitely do take it too seriously. I treat it more like a job than a hobby, and although I do make some money from it, I don't want it to be that way. I started the blog as a way to connect and to express myself, not as something that's going to stress me out and keep me up at night.  I'm not saying I'm quitting my blog, I'm not saying that I'm going to stop sponsorships, I'm not saying that I'm only going to show up twice a week. All I'm saying is that I've started making blogging a priority over some things that really are more important. I'm just overwhelmed right now, and I need to find a way to balance school, work, and the blog.

Wow this post was a total rant and I really had no intention of writing a post like this today, ha! But I'd love to hear if you have any tips on finding that balance!

PS if you havent heard this song you're missing out because its so good and I'm obsessed right now

inspired.

Wow, I've been feeling inspired lately. I have a whole page full of blog ideas, I've been learning more and more about photography, and I've been designing like crazy. I'm so excited to take on more design clients, and I've been messing around with some inspiration boards lately. I thought I would share some colors, patterns, and fonts that I've been loving lately!

If any of this inspires you as much as it does for me, I would love to work with you over at Sparkle Out Loud.

Also, I just wanted to share some picture I've taken because I'm excited about it. I'm an amateur so don't judge, I'm just having fun!

I don't really know where/how to edit my photos, so if anyone has some good editing software that they'd recommend, I'd love your suggestions!

10 things that taste better than skinny feels

Hi my name is Brianna and I'm addicted to Pinterest. I usually just look at the food and wedding sections because I'm a fat girl at heart and I can't wait to get married. But once and a while when I'm feeling unmotivated, I'll scroll through the fitness section. Just about every time I do, I see some variation of this quote:

FALSE. When I see this, the first thing I think is BS. Then I think of all of the things that taste way better than skinny feels and I end up in the In N Out drive through. I love food, obviously. And I suck at dieting. So, today I'm sharing ten things that taste better than skinny feels.

In-N-Out Burger. Which if you couldn't tell by my ad spots, I'm pretty obsessed with In-N-Out. I could eat it literally every day. If you've never had it, I'm so sorry. But you can come to AZ anytime and I will personally buy you one, because its like heaven in a little red tray. But basically if I had the choice between a hamburger (no onion or tomato, extra pickle) and the gym….like its not even a question, the gym can wait.

Carne Asada Fries. YUM. Handsome had some amazing carne asada fries (the bottom right picture) when we went to California last year. Again, if you don't have good mexican food where you're at, you're missing out because carne asada fries are the bomb diggity. Yeah, bomb diggity. I said it.

Ice Cream. Sometimes I think maybe I should go to the gym and then I'm like nahh I'll eat some ice cream instead.

Waffles. Especially those of the Belgian kind. It's funny because I had a picture of Dj eating a waffle from when we were in Belgium in one of my posts, and now its on Pinterest and it keeps getting pinned. Cool, I'm glad people like pictures of my boyfriend eating.

Chipotle. All day every day. My roommates and I go way too much and I wouldn't have it any other way because Chipotle is like the God of all things mexican food.

Crepes. Also better when eaten in Europe. Plus, I get mine with Nutella and strawberries, and strawberries are fruit. So basically that makes it healthy, right?

Cheesy Garlic Bread. YES PLEASE. I tweeted about this one the other day. Dj and I are meant to be because we can talk about our love for garlic bread for a good half hour. That's love, right?

Dj and I are bonding right now over our love for cheesy garlic bread and its moments like that I fall in love with him over again you know?
— Brianna (@bclark565r) February 11, 2014

Shawingz. This was a place in Germany that had amazing wings…and chicken and waffles…and fries. Who would've thought that the most amazing hot wings would be in Germany, right? They had like every sauce you could imagine. Even weird ones like cheddar popcorn. But it was amazing. And we were total fatties.

Pizza. PLEASE look how happy Dj is to be eating pizza in this picture. It kills me every time. It may or may not have been after a crazy night in Amsterdam so pizza was well deserved.

Hot Cheetos. You know my love for hot cheetos. No explanation needed there.

Okay but did I seriously just write a whole post about food? My inner fat girl just came out and I love it. But anyway, there you have it, ten things that taste way better than skinny feels!

I tweeted the other day that I needed to start saving money. I found out that I can graduate in December, but in order to do so, I have to save up to pay for a couple summer classes. I honestly have no clue how to save. I really suck at it.

happy valentine's day!

Happy Valentine's Day loves! I'm sure 99% of you know this, and are probably tired of hearing it, but I thought that since today is V-Day that I would share mine and handsome's love story again. I've shared the full thing once in this post, but it was when I first started blogging and its kind of a mess.

If you visit my 'love' page, you'll find the quickest possible version of our love story:

But there's not real background info there. Mine and Dj's moms have been besties forever. Obviously, when you're 5, if your mom has a friend, her kids are your friends too. So, Dj and I used to play together when we were younger. Here's a picture of us at my birthday party way back when and then now!

So anyway, as we got older, we lost touch. I remember running into him my freshman year (his senior year) at a track meet and barely acknowledging him while he and my mom talked. Oops ;) And when my mom asked if I wanted to go to graduation party, I thought she was crazy for even thinking I might want to go..I mean, I hadn't talked to him in years.

Fast forward four years to my freshman year of college. I'm friends with his mom and sister on Facebook and I was doing some casual stalking when his name popped up. So of course my stalking went from casual to excessive and creepy and I stalked him pretty hardcore. I told my mom that he was hot but I didn't think he would remember me. So what does my mom do? Messages him and tells him what I just said. Thanks mom....but really. So I added him, and I was sitting on my couch with my best friend (we were home on Thanksgiving break) when he messaged me. I think I shit my pants because I was so excited that he sent me a message. 

Well, we've talked every day since that first message and I'm seriously the luckiest girl in the world. We talked for a couple months before we hung out in person, because he was in Germany and wasn't coming home until January. But basically right from the start we knew we had something special.

He's made this past year the most amazing year of my life! I got to spend the summer in Germany with him and we've done so many fun things together. Our love has grown so incredibly much its amazing. On Wednesday I got my Valentine's package from him, which you might've seen on Instagram filled with a bunch of candy I shouldn't eat, homemade brownies, and then some special stuff like the journal we send back and forth and write to each other in. I wish I could spend today with him, but I guess a Skype date will have to do!

Should we start counting how many times I've told this story on the blog? Probably too many, but what else would I talk about on Valentine's Day? I'm off to dinner and wine with the roomies tonight, but I hope you all have a very special holiday with a very special someone!

looking forward

Not much has been going on around here lately. I've been swamped with school. I have two exams this week and two next week, so I'm just super duper excited to study for those! Kill me now. But there are a few things I'm looking forward to!

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. As you probably already know, I love Valentine's Day. Handsome already got (and opened) the package I sent him because we're both to impatient to wait. It's probably my fault for sending it a whole week early. But he loved it, so that's good. He got me (I opened mine early too) a bunch of chocolate, homemade brownies (yes, he made me browines....sweet, right?) and he wrote in the journal that we send back and forth. Anyway, my roommates and I are going out to dinner tomorrow (and I get to eat lots of dairy and garlic bread since its a holiday yolo) and then we're going to come back and watch a bunch of cheesy romantic comedies, eat chocolate, and drink wine. Because we can.

I'm bought my plane ticket. I get to go see Handsome over my spring break. Only for a couple of days though. It's going to be the shortest amount of time we've spent together so far, so it's going to be hard to leave I'm sure. But, it'll cut the waiting in half. It'll have been two months since I'd seen him last, and then we'll only have to wait two months until I get to spend the whole summer with him. And I can't wait for that.

I've been playing around with some designing and photography some more. I really love it! If you're interested in a design, you can see my design site here. I keep learning more and more about both design and photography and it's really becoming a passion!

 I might be able to graduate in December. I'm supposed to graduate next May, but if I can save up and take an extra class this summer, I might be able to graduate another semester early! The though of graduating this year excites me so much! I'm going to try really hard to start saving and get everything figured out!

What're you looking forward to?