there are some negative nancys out there!

Well, if you didn't hear (which I'm sure you did because I was really excited and tweeted about it a million times), three of my posts are now on Thought Catalog. This was a big deal for me. I'd never really submitted my work anywhere, and it was pretty cool seeing my name and my words on their site! But of course, a lot of people read Thought Catalog, and I knew what that meant- some nasty comments.

With my blog, I've never really had any mean comments. I've had like one mean remark, but that's it. I completely understand that it comes with the territory- we put ourselves out there, and so of course we're going to be criticized. Thankfully, the comments so far on the articles haven't been too bad, but it is my first experience with negativity on the internet. None of it has bothered me, I just think it's kind of funny. So I thought I would share them with you today.

The first article they published was The 6 Stereotypes You Meet in College. I figured this one would get the most negativity, because I know that some people could get offended by it. But honestly, when I wrote it for the blog, I just meant it for fun. I was just highlighting the stereotypes of groups on campus, and I really didn't mean to offend anyone. But here were the first three comments I got on it:
LOL. I don't think I'm better than anyone, and I hope the article didn't make it seem that way. Plus, I never said which group I consider myself. For all these people know, I could be in a sorority, or I could be an athlete, right?

The second one that got published was Six Things You Missed from the 90s. The thing about this one is that when I submitted it, I didn't really mention the "90's." Thought Catalog changed the title. I just submitted a post about things I missed from my childhood, but I got a lot of comments about the 90's aspect of the post.
I'm sorry I didn't know what year the Sims came out, Erip. And Jordan, I was born in the 90's so that's why I mentioned it. I spent my childhood growing up in the 90's/2000's so that's why people my age call themselves "90's kids." Thats when we were born.

The last post was The Five Bright Sides to a Long Distance Relationship which has actually been shared/liked a lot since it was published, which is pretty exciting! And by a lot, I mean like over 100 times, which isn't actually a lot, but for me it is! This one had the funniest comments. Some were actually really sweet, but then there were ones like this:
The one on the bottom cracks me up. Uh, bitter much? Obviously someone had a bad experience with a long distance relationship! Ha.

Anyway, as the comments (and creepy emails- that's another story) keep rolling in, I'm trying not to let it get to me! I just laugh it off, and I'm enjoying seeing my articles out there! Happy Monday!

Have you had experiences with negative comments? How do you handle it?

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another college rant

Happy Friday my loves! Today's post is mostly a vent, so sorry that its not the best way to end the week! So, you might've seen on Instagram that I was swamped with homework this week. I posted this picture on Monday. If you notice, I mention in the caption that I only have one semester left of college. On Monday, I registered for my last semester of college, and I will be graduating three semesters early. I was pretty excited about it, and so I shared the news on Facebook, Insta, and Twitter. I got the normal "How exciting!" and "Congrats!" comments and replies that I expected, but I also got some comments/emails/replies that bugged me a little.

I mentioned here that I think college is hard. I think some people think that its so easy and they don't take into consideration that for some students college isn't all fun and games. I have a lot going on. I have six classes, a job, my design site, and this blog to manage on top of working out, paying for bills, grocery shopping, gassing up my ride, and all of that fun adult stuff. So anyway, when I posted about graduating this year, I got a lot of replies saying that I shouldn't rush things. "College is the best time of your life." All of that jazz.

Here's what I have to say. Obviously if someone is excited to graduate, they don't want to hear about how they should stay in college forever. People assume that once I graduate I will just be thrown into the "real world" without a plan and I'll regret getting out of school. Which is absolutely not the case. I have a plan, and I know that I will be happier once I graduate. I'm planning to move to Montana where I'll live with Handsome (I won't have to worry about finding a place to live or paying rent).  I'm going to get my Master's degree online (I'm furthering my education). I'm going to get a job or a paid internship, which I've already started looking into (I'll be making money). But most importantly, I'll be with the one person that makes my life complete.

When people hear I'm graduating and respond with those "stay in college forever" comments, it makes me feel like they think I'm making a bad choice. It's not like I'm quitting school and "messing up" my chances for a successful future (not that I think you have to go to school to be successful). I want people to be proud of me. I'm getting a 4 year degree in 2.5 years. I don't see how its a bad thing, yet some people make it seem that way.

If you're in a long distance relationship, I'm sure you understand. If you're not, imagine spending almost every day without that one person that you do everything with. It sucks, and it makes everything a million times less enjoyable. DJ is my everything. He makes everything more enjoyable. Being away from him is so hard. Yes, he is the main reason I am excited to graduate early. I'm excited to get out of school and go be with him. I'm excited to start our life together. I know that even if my job sucks or I have tons of bills to pay (or whatever other "adult" things people think I'll regret), I'll have him at the end of every day, and nothing is better than that.

I'm not in a sorority, and Greek Life is HUGE at my school. Class, homework, work, and blogging take up most of my time. When I'm not doing any of that, I'm usually relaxing or adventuring with my roommates. But honestly, it's not that great. I mean yeah, I enjoy being in college and I'm having fun, but I do not think that next year I'll look back and think "those were the best years of my life." When I look back on the last year, the times that I think "yeah, that was an amazing time" were when I was not in school. The best part of my year was being with Handsome. In Germany, Montana, California, wherever. But the point is, I know that I will enjoy myself more once I graduate. I won't have to stress about six classes worth of assignments. I wont be sad about not seeing the man I love for two whole months. I wont constantly have to check my countdown to see how long until I can see him again. I wont have to rely on text messages and Skype to make me happy.

What I'm getting at is the fact that college is different for everyone. Some people have the time of their lives, and its just not meant for others. I enjoy it. But its also not where I want to be. So next time you're telling someone that they should be enjoying themselves, think about how they might feel if they're not. It's hard having people telling you how you should feel. "These should be the best years ever." Well, they're not. I can't wait to graduate and I'm fully aware that I will have to deal with "real world" stresses and responsibilities, but to me, it's completely worth it.

Woof, sorry for the rant again. But hey, if I can't vent here, where can I? I'd love to hear your opinions on this, or even just your plans for the weekend! Happy Friday :)
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things I will never understand

Physics, chemistry, advanced calculus- I will never understand them. There are just some things in life that are too complex to wrap your head around. I've gone through twelve years of school and now two years of college, and there are still so many things that blow my mind. So, here are things I will never, ever understand.

why girls get so mad when guys leave the toilet seat up.

I don't know, I just feel like it takes longer to complain to him about leaving it up than to actually put it down yourself.

why its okay to have breakfast for dinner but not dinner for breakfast. 
If I want In-N-Out at 8 am I think that I should be able to have In-N-Out at 8 am, right?

why people think college is so easy. 
I talk about that in this post.

why girls put make up on to go to the gym. 
I get that most girls (including myself) don't like to leave the house without makeup. But to the gym? Really? I don't know about you, but whether I'm wearing make up or not I still look disgusting when I get back from the gym. It's a waste of makeup!

why people abbreviate in texts. 
Okay, it was cool in like fourth grade to type "u" for "you" and things like that. I throw in the occasional OMG, but really I hate when people abbreviate in texts. It makes you look dumb. Especially when the word you're abbreviating is short to begin with. Like what's the point of using "2" instead of "to"? Its one extra letter, and you don't seem like an idiot. It's simple.

why people are still confusing "your" and "you're." 
I guess this goes along with the one above. We're adults, we should know grammar. Even if you didn't learn it in school, there are plenty of memes out there now that make fun of this idea. My heart hurts a little every time I see someone use the wrong one.

how people can drive for twenty minutes without realizing their turn signal is on.

What're some things you'll never understand?

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The other night, the roomies and I were sitting around our dining table eating ice cream (gluten free cereal for me) and talking about our bucket lists.
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ten favorite things: april's topic is.....

Just to clear things up: there was some confusion from yesterday's post had nothing to do with my life. It was just an excuse to share my friend's story of the doucher that dumped her. Handsome and I are completely 100% happy and in love still! I got too many emails asking if we broke up. I didn't realize that writing a post about breakups would cause that much negative buzz! So I apologize for the confusion, but all is well in relationship land on my end! :)

Anyway, back to business!
I'm sure this gets old because I literally say it every month, but holy crap this month went by fast. I feel like just yesterday I was spending Christmas in Montana with handsome. But its already April! Where does the time go? My favorite part of the month is here though- when I get to announce the next month's topic for the Ten Favorite Things link up! If you're unfamiliar with the link up, basically you can come around here the first Monday of every month and share your ten favorite things about the month's topic! Fun, right? I was originally going to make this month's topic spring because it seemed fitting, but I wanted to be a little more creative than that. Well maybe not creative, but a little less predictable. So this month, we'll be sharing our ten favorite things about being a blogger! So, grab a button, get your post ready, and come link up April 7!

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the people.
In the seven month's I've been blogging, I've met more amazing people than I could've ever imagined. Not only have I had the chance to connect with girls all over the country, but all over the world as well. I've formed friendships and connections that have been so helpful throughout this journey, and I wouldn't trade that for anything! (Shout out to RachelRachaelKathryn, and Allison)

the support.
This definitely has to be the best part about blogging. I love how much support is given to bloggers going through a rough time. I love when I feel unsure about something or I'm down and I get that comment that reassures me about everything. I love that I've met so many girls who are also in long distance/military relationships. I started this blog to help support and receive support form others, and it really has been an amazing experience.

the inspiration.
There are some girls out there that inspire me in so many ways. Whether it's their writing, their style, their design, or just their life in general, I love being inspired. I'm young compared to most other bloggers, and its so exciting seeing other women's lives and looking up to them. Hearing their success stories and their journeys overcoming obstacles makes me happy and excited! :)

the creativity.
I never really considered myself to be a creative person. I've always been into math and science, and I hated reading and writing (I still do). But blogging has created this outlet for my creativity which had been hiding somewhere for all of these years. I'm still working on it, because I know my posts could be way more creative, but still. I found a love for design and a passion for sharing my stories that I never thought I would find.

the outlet.
Some things are hard to talk about. Some things I want to share but don't know who to share it with. I can't talk to my friends all day long about my boyfriend, but I can sure blog about him! I love that blogging is an outlet to talk about my feelings, my passions and doubts, and really anything I want. I can share my struggles one day and I can talk about ice cream the next day! I love that this is my space and that I can share whatever I want.

the opportunity.
Bloggers get some great opportunities. We get free stuff, discounts, we have tons of connections, and we get to meet great people. Managing a blog is good experience, and experience connecting with others is never a bad thing! There's tons of opportunities to come from blogging, as long as you know how to seek them out.

the money.
Sorry, I said it. I obviously don't blog just for the money, but who doesn't love getting paid to do something they love? I do make money around here, and it really helps me out a lot. I make money through my design site, sponsorships, and sponsored posts. I probably put almost as much back into my blog, though. 

helping others.
I wrote this post a long time ago, and I still feel this way. I love that when I write, I help others. I get emails a lot asking about relationships and saying that my relationship inspires them. It really makes my heart melt that people feel that way, and I love that I can give others hope and reassurance that long distance relationships can work! Its truly a blessing.

the entertainment.
Blogging is a good way to pass the time. When I have nothing to do, I work on the blog. Not only that, but reading blogs is entertaining, too. I've said before that I'm not the biggest fan of reading blogs, but when I have the time I definitely enjoy it. It helps keep my mind off of the things that are stressing me out (like being away from handsome).

the memories.
I love looking back on old posts. I look back and remember how I was feeling in that moment, whether it was happy, sad, or excited- its always so fun. Keeping this online "journal" is a great way to keep track of everything I've done, and I can't wait for it to grow so I can share more and more memories with you all!

I'm glad that this month's topic is being a blogger. I've been feeling down about my blog lately, and as I wrote this I reminded myself of all of the reasons I do this and how much I love it. I had been thinking about taking a break, but this reassured me that I should keep going. I've fallen in love with my blog, and even though we have our ups and downs, we'll make it through ;) I just didn't realize how much making "blogging" this month's topic would help me!

So, what do you love about blogging? But don't give it all away...save it and come back April 7th for the linkup! :)

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how NOT to break up with someone

Breaking up with someone is clearly never an easy thing to do. But I mean if he's not floatin' your boat anymore somethings got to be done, right? Sometimes it seems as if there's no easy way to do it. Which it totally true, but there are some ways that are definitely worse than others. Personally, I've never been dumped in a manner that was too strange or cruel, but I know some people who have, and there are definitely plenty of ways not to break up with someone. Clearly, if any of these have happened to you, he wasn't worth it.
// a text message // 
Oh boy...story time! My best friend and I were at a restaurant one night and she thought the bus boy was cute. So naturally I left her number on the receipt, but we didn't really expect him to call. The next morning we were in my pool getting our tan on and her phone rang. It was him. Let's call him "Asshole." (you'll see why). Anyway, Asshole took her on a couple of dates and I'm pretty sure they were all pretty awkward. Oh, and let me go back and say that the very first etext he ever sent her was "Are you DTF?" NO. That's when we should've known. She wasn't that into him, but when they were at a red light and he asked her to be his girlfriend, she felt bad saying no and just said yes. So really this whole thing is probably her fault but still. So fast forward like a week. We were at SeaWorld. They were texting and he was talking to her about doing things that were not so appropriate for the blog. When she told him she wasn't going to do that with him, he replied, "Well it was fun hangin lmao xD" THAT WAS HIS BREAKUP TEXT. Does she know how to pick em or what?

// through a friend //
I guess this one's okay if you're in third grade. I get it- you're afraid to break the news to your not so special someone, but c'mon. It's never okay to have your friend break up with your girlfriend/boyfriend for you. It's hard enough getting dumped, let alone not being able to actually hear it from the person breaking up with you. Also, if you ever are the messenger and agree to break up with someone for a friend, you're an idiot.

// by doing absolutely nothing //
Ignoring people is rude in general. Especially if you're in a relationship with them. Cutting off communication might seem like an easy way out, but seriously who would do that? If I were in a relationship with a guy who just stopped talking to me, I'm pretty sure I'd freak out and think he was dead. So that would be fun.

// in a big group of people //
One thing I never understood is why people would talk about about their boyfriend or girlfriend to others or post it on social media. Sure, if you need to vent to a friend about some issues, that's one thing. But airing your relationship drama to the public is not only inconsiderate, but it's embarrassing for you and your significant other. Same goes with breaking up. If you're going to leave someone, don't do it publicly. Don't do it when they're around their friends. It should be something private where you can talk it out and not embarrass them.

// by changing your relationship status //
This one kills me. Do people really do this? I think its pretty obvious that changing your relationship status on Facebook is not a significant way to end a relationship with someone.

// on a holiday //
This one's the worst because it's so easily preventable. I know plenty of people who have been dumped on their birthday or on Christmas. Like honestly, if you're going to break up with someone thats usually a decision that you make in more than one day. I don't understand the problem with waiting one extra day and letting them enjoy their holiday. Its cruel! No one wants to get dumped on Valentine's Day.

What's the worst way you've broken up with someone? Or been broken up with?

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the five stages of grief

I'm a psychology major. One of the things that we study is the five stages of grief. If you're unfamiliar with this model, it basically states the five stages you go through when you've suffered a loss or are grieving. The stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. I don't know about you, but I've suffered through these stages. Multiple times, actually. Every time I finish a show on Netflix.

1. Denial
You know its coming. It's the last episode and you're dreading those closing credits. It can't end. There has to be more. How can it be over already? Does Jamie get a college scholarship? Do Tim and Lyla get married? We'll never know. At this stage you might go back and watch other episodes, research the show online, follow Twitter fan pages, etc. Anything to keep the spirit alive, right?

2. Anger
What do you mean Army Wives didn't get approved for another season? I'm writing an angry letter to Lifetime and demanding another season. During this stage you might be moody and emotional and lash out at others, or become offended when someone insults the show you're grieving. Don't mess with someone suffering through the anger stage, that shit is real.

3. Bargaining

This is the stage where you begin to consider the "what ifs." You might think, "Maybe I shouldn't have watched all nine seasons in a week," or even "If everyone was nicer to Jimmy maybe Keith would be alive." You overanalyze and try to think of all of the things that could've gone differently. You need to regain control. So maybe you tell yourself that you should watch it again, just not in one sitting.

4. Depression

Now that its over, what are you supposed to do with your life? Be social…no way. Leave your bed..uhm no. Go to the gym? Not a chance. This stage is often characterized by too much chocolate ice cream and endless texts and tweets about said show. You may feel regret for finishing the series so quickly, and even sadness at the fact that you actually have to get a life now.

5. Acceptance

Congratulations. This is a stage worth celebrating! You've made it. No more late nights crying over Nathan and Haley breaking up or Lucas and Peyton leaving the show. No more opening Netflix and debating watching the whole thing over again. You can move on.  Now you can maybe even start a new series!

Can you tell which show I might still be grieving? Oops. Are you guilty of any of these?
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Well hello there and happy Saturday! I don't usually come around these parts on the weekend, but I'm here today to share with you the changes that happened here last night while I was bored at work. Obviously theres a new design- let me know what you think! But more importantly, I changed my sponsorship options. Some things went away, and I added some new fun to the mix. These changes were exactly what I needed to get excited about my blog again. So check them out below, and have a happy happy weekend! :)

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I'm young. I still have pretty much my whole life ahead of me. One day I'll get engaged, married, buy a home, start a family. Those are things that I'm sure most all girls dream about, and I'm no different. I love to think about what my wedding will be like, how I want to decorate my home, and what I'm going to name my kids. Yeah, I'm that girl. Especially now that I've found the man I'm going to do all of that with, it makes it much more realistic. Since I'm graduating this year, and Dj will be getting out of the military in two years, we've been talking a lot about our future. We don't really know what we'll do yet, but we talk about our options a lot. It's so exciting to me that we will have a clean start and can literally do anything and go anywhere we want. Like any girl with high hopes for the future, I plan it all out in Pinterest. If you follow me on there, you probably know that I go a little crazy sometimes. I could spend hours planning my wedding and browsing through the home decor section. So, I thought I would share with you my "pinterest perfect" life.

The Engagement
In this department, I usually pin rings, engagement photos, and ideas for a little engagement party. I mostly get excited about the photos, because they'll probably be the first good pictures Dj and I actually have together. All of our pictures right now are pretty much selfies, so we need some good, professional photos!

The Wedding
Well, I've had like a million wedding boards and I used to be legit obsessed with planning my "wedding." I just loved looking at ideas and dreaming about how I wanted my wedding to be someday. I'm over it now, but it's still fun to think about :) I love the idea of a rustic wedding outside or maybe in a barn! Which is tricky because its 100 degrees like all year round here, so it has to be perfect weather to get married outside!

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drinkin beer and wastin bullets

The week before I headed up north to nearly Canada to visit that hunk of a boyfriend of mine, he and his bestie went out to the national forest and went shooting & mudding. Typical Montana style guy fun. Since then, we'd been planning to go when I was there. So like the first day I was there we headed to DJs favorite store ever, Scheels, to buy him a brand new shotgun. He's like a kid in a candy store in there, I swear! I did find a pink 9mm that I might have to get eventually, but really I was just there for moral support. So we took his brand new scary looking gun home, got some hotdogs and the heavenly ingredients that make up s'mores and packed the truck to head out the next morning. 

We woke up EARLY (and by early I mean 7 am) and hopped in the truck. The truck we had just washed the day before- hint: it didnt stay clean for very long. The national forest is about an hour away, right past Monarch where we almost got stranded last time. 

When we got out there, it was COLD. Like really cold and windy. Luckily I had my trusty pink North Face to keep me a little warm. We hit some mud on the way there which was so fun. We started shooting at cans and bottles and I'm basically a pro. A pro at not hitting anything. I did destroy this Sprite can, though. 
Then we decided it was time for some hotdogs. We tried to light a fire but the wind kept putting it out before it was big enough. So we tried again. And again. And again. No luck. We ended up shooting off the rest of our rounds and taking some gangsta pictures before we headed to another spot. 
We hit some more mud and show and it was seriously so fun. Dj's whole truck was falling apart though- the dashboard is broken and pieces we're flying everywhere, the visor above my head kept falling and hitting me, my coffee kept spilling, but yolo it was so fun. We also got stuck a few times. 
At one of the spots we stopped to "play" in the muddy snow, Dj let me drive. We'd been doing donuts and going crazy in that spot for a good half hour, and I figured it couldn't be too hard. Well, I drove about ten feet and we were stuck. So that was fun. Once we got pulled out of that, we stopped at a few more places and kept trying to light fires, but the wind was so bad everywhere we went. So Dj and I made s'mores without the marshmallow- basically a chocolate and graham cracker sandwich. Oh and I polished off a whole bag of hot Cheetos. Typical. We had smores for breakfast Tuesday though, so it's okay.
In all, it was a good day. Even though we didn't get to roast hotdogs or marshmallows, I almost froze to death, and I had to pee outside, it was still fun. I'm so excited to head back out there this summer when it's not so cold and a little more green! :)

Do you like the outdoors? Or are you more of an indoorsy person?
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the surprise

Well, as many of you know from my tweets leading up to the big day, I surprised handsome in Montana a day early. He got home from work Thursday and thought he was picking me up at the airport Friday morning, but really I was already there Thursday when he got home. I'm sneaky, I know. :)

The plan was to have his roommate pick me up at 12:30 when I landed, and he would get home a couple hours later. I flew from Phoenix to Salt Lake City with a 40 minute layover which was a terrible idea, because 49 minutes is barely enough time to get across the airport + board. And of course my luck the gate I arrived at and the gate I departed from we're at opposite ends of the airport, typical. 

After running to my second flight and getting on the plane, my nerves started to settle in. What if he figured it out? What if he wasn't surprised? I figured he'd call me when he got to his truck (like he always does) and instead of saying he was on his way home he'd say he was going to the store or to run errands or something. Not that that would be terrible, I just figured that the one time I wanted him to hurry home he'd have a bunch of stuff to do! 

But when I landed in great falls and turned my phone off of airplane mode (by the way they let you use your phone the whole time now- you don't have to put it away during landing and take off) I had a text from him. He said he was going to be home in about 15 minutes. And I was still on the plane. Cool. I really wanted to beat him home, and luckily I did. But barely. 

When we got to the house I ran to the bathroom to get some mouthwash and before I could even get my breath minty fresh I heard his big loud truck pulling i to the driveway. At this point I was so damn nervous I was shaking and shit. Chelsea and I we're watching out the window waiting for the perfect moment for me to run out there. As he was walking down the sidewalk to the house I ran out and yelled "hey handsome!" And I could tell he was so confused at first. It was awesome. He just smiled and was so surprised and I ran up to him and jumped into his arms. It was perfect! Best part- I didn't even trip when I was running to him. Which is a big deal, you know?
I couldn't have asked for a better trip. It was short, but we still had an amazing time. I'm thinking I'll dedicate the next few posts to my Montana adventures, so stay tuned!

Have you ever surprised a loved one? How'd it go??
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five out of seven

Five out of seven. We've said goodbye five times. We've had five terribly hard goodbyes in airports in two different states, two different countries. Each one is just as hard, but we've gotten better about not dragging them out. Our goodbye after the summer in Germany was the worst. We sat in that airport for a good hour crying. Since then it's gotten shorter and shorter every time. We try to "rip the bandaid off" and just get it over with, because sitting there crying and dragging out doesn't make it any easier. But I'm sitting on the plane as I write this, with a big smile on my face because of what DJ said to me before I walked through security. 
Five out of seven. We only have two more goodbyes. One after I spend this summer with him, and one after I go visit next October. After that last goodbye, we never have to be apart again. We've spent the last year and a half missing each other on and off for months at a time, but in nine short months it'll all be over. It sounds like forever away right now, but I know that December will be here before I know it and I'll finally get to be with my best friend every day for the rest of my life. Plus, three of those months I will be with him, so we really only have to spend six months apart. Ever. 
It's such a crazy feeling to know that THIS YEAR I graduate college and move to be with him. We've been talking a lot about our plans. Where I'll try to work, if he'll be getting out of the military, where we want to live. We're approaching such an exciting point in our journey together and it makes my heart so happy to think about that!

Being in a long distance relationship is so tough, and I can't wait to be done with that BS. But I honestly wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm so happy that we started our relationship long distance. Those five heart wrenching goodbyes reminded us that we don't want to be away from each other, and that we shouldn't take our time together for granted. Every sweet hello reminds us how exciting love can be. Every day we got to spend together was special, and I truly believe that once we're together every day, well always remember the times when we longed to be together and be grateful for what we have. 

Two more goodbyes and my life will change forever, and it couldn't come fast enough.
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rachel takes over!

Hey loves! I'm off in Montana enjoying my last day with my hunk of a boyfriend, so Rachel from Sunshine and Sinatra is taking over today!
Sorry to interrupt normal programming here, but Sunshiney Rach is here to help improve your day. Just an FYI, I'm not as cool as I seem from the picture because face it, I think I look pretty darn cool. Pretty darn cool meaning that I party and am a blast in a glass like my fellow homegirl, Deena from the Jersey Shore. Frankly, say the word tequila to me and I will get instant nausea. A little about myself is that I love capri suns, despise math, and could watch pageants and netflix for the rest of my life (every second of it). Oh, and also? I've been boxing a near and not so dear friend of mine for most of my life: the big A. Anxiety.

After researching (I'm not a premed major...I had to do it for a random class) I read that over 40 million americans suffer from it, and 1/3rd of us don't even treat it. I'm one hundred and fifty-seven percent part of the lazy/dumb/'I'm not helping myself' half. Yes, I do have medication, but do I really want to take it? No. Why? I'm not a person who turns down meds to help me feel better, I just want to help myself find other ways to live a normal life. 

Story time (if you're interested, it's not the good kind): I really hate sharing this with others, but I mean yet I'll share it with randoms from tinder on a first date? (I'm surprised they waited until the 5th/6th/etc date to run for the hills...) I have the weirdest type of anxiety. Sure we all love comparing our panic attacks and the amount of time we cried, but I think therapists put an asterisk next to this bad boy, considering all the googling in the world can't tell me how horrific or how soon I will die from this epidemic (damn you WebMD). So, I get really bad anxiety in the shower. I've tried to find out the association between things in my life and why this would happen but it's really hard to tell since nothing has happened to me. But when I get anxiety, I get a panic attack and have to get out of the shower until I calm myself down. The crappy part is sometimes it will happen twice within a 5 minute period.

..Looks like I'm loosing followers from my blog and now people are placing me in a loony bin. Ultimately, if you suffer from anxiety, I have some tips that could (or could not) help you. 

Take control of your situation. The reason we suffer from anxiety is because fear of the unknown. Most of my anxiety is caused by stress (obvi common) so try to have a good ole happy day (by putting on some Beyoncé). When taking control of the situation, find your happy place. Do/see things that will put you're mind at ease. Also if you're a creative yet type A person like me, lists can make you feel better if you're stressing about stuff you have to do. Even put things you've already accomplished on the list so you can mark it off with your new electric blue gel pen. It's okay, I won't tell.
Mindless activities that make me happy...driving into the city!

Retail Therapy. Say it with me!!!!!!!!!!!! So I don't think monsieur wallet or husband/boyfriend/dad will approve of this one, but it's a-okay in my book. If you were to ever see my closet you wouldn't think oh hey this girl has anxiety (yet I wonder why I complain I have no clothes...), but it's how I cope with anxiety. Also if you are retail therapy-ing here's a tip: CLEAR-ANCE-RACK. Hello 5 dolla shirt at TJ maxx!

Work out. I could probably make a playlist with all songs including rappers saying stuff like they like women who are working out (I'm pointing fingers at you, J.Cole), but he has a valid point. When I'm at the gym, I either watch netflix (shout out to the iPhone app), or listen to super hype electric dance music [EDM] because then I bob my head to the beat and also need to try to prevent myself from shaking my booty because I'm a typical #whitegirl. *hair flip emoji*. Once I achieve back sweat (yuck), I'm ready to head on out. When I leave, I'm a brand new person. Working out is mindless (I also don't do heavy lifting....) but do something mindless when on your elliptical! Read, listen to a radio talk show, netflix...possibilities are endless!

Granted, I'm no therapist (Heck, this is why I have one. Sort of.) but I think those ways to cope with anxiety are what get me through life and realize wow Mom, I am normal. Sort of.  You can figure that one out for yourself. 
Bloggy girl.
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college students deserve more credit

I've been in college for two years now, and I have a love/hate relationship with it. When I was still in high school, I always thought college would be this glorious time where I didn't really have any responsibility and I could to whatever I want. Which is true, to an extent. But people always say to stay in college as long as you can, its the best years of your life, you'll miss it when you're living in "the real world." And this bugs me…a lot. I don't think college kids get as much credit as they deserve.

College is absolutely fun. Parties, sporting events, time out with friends- I love it all. But honestly, I don't see how its any easier than "living in the real world." Sure, some people have jobs Monday through Friday from 9 to 5, and its stressful and a lot of work. But I have school every day, including weekends, and when I get home from class I have more schoolwork to do. There's hardly a day when I'm not stressed about an upcoming assignment or exam. Most people that have careers get to leave their work at work, and can enjoy themselves when they're off. But college students….we're always doing work. On top of all of the school work, I, like many other college students, have a job as well. So on top of lectures, assignments, and exams, I also hold a job. It can be crazy and stressful, and I often feel like I don't have any time to just relax.

I think that there's a huge misconception out there that college kids don't have bills. Whenever people throw out that "stay in college forever…you don't have to worry about adult problems" crap, I don't think they consider the fact that college students have bills, too. I pay rent for my apartment, electricity, groceries, gas for my car, and school related expenses too. Not to mentions school itself is ridiculously expensive. Plus, there are some students that have even more responsibilities than that. I would say that that's pretty relatable to the "adult problems" that people think we don't have to deal with. There's also the stress of figuring out what you're going to do once you graduate. It can be pretty scary and stressful when you're not sure where you'll be living or what you'll be doing within the next year or so.

What I'm basically trying to say is that college students do not get the credit they deserve. I understand that once you graduate you have more responsibilities. You have to completely support yourself, balance a job, bills, and possibly a family. All I'm trying to get across is that as students, we have responsibilities too. We know what its like to have to pay bills. We know what its like to be stressed and overwhelmed from work. It's not all sunshine and rainbows over in collegeville. We understand "real world" problems, and I think that most of us do a pretty damn good job considering were only in our early 20's (or younger).

What're your opinions? Do you agree? Or do you think that there's a huge difference between college life and "the real world?"

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an epic poem from erica jacquline

Happy Friday! I'm spending the day with my handsome man in Montana so today Erica has en epic poem for you! Enjoy! :)

An Ode To The Men I Work With
by Erica Jacquline
I am writing this poem for the men that work at my school.
Women have dominated education for years so the fact that you work here is pretty cool. 
Let me first say I am glad we are such great friends
Because of that fact I know that after this poem I will not need to make amends. 
I am writing this verse because there're some things I need to say 
Some things that cannot be said while we gather and pray. 
One of the topics of my forthcoming discretion 
Shall include the communal commode which is not a lunchtime conversation. 
You see the bathroom is one that is shared, 
And the ladies on staff are really quite scared. 
From the shavings in the skin to the seat that is left up
Us ladies are afraid to finish more than one coffee cup. 
While I am at it I am just so amazed 
You made it to work at all, sometimes you look quite dazed. 
Your shirts are all wrinkled and on Mondays you wear jeans
Because your "Domestic Engineer" did not have time to finish the laundry, whatever that means. 
OK, OK my gripping is done, 
Let us reflect on the times we had some fun. 
There are all the times we went out to lunch, 
And the only thing on the menu I wanted was Hawaiian Punch. 
My favorite lunch memory I can recall
Was the time we went to the Chipotle by the mall. 
You were not there so we gave you a call
You were at the Chipotle on by the gym, that detail was small. 
I must admit you have taught me so much 
About sci-fi, comics, and Batman at lunch.
I will never forget the time I said I like Thor's butt 
And you were all awkward and yelled "what the what?!"
You guys make work fun and you gave me baseball tickets
Even though sometimes you are not really "with it" 
When I hang out with you I will never frown, 
But for the love of all that is holy put the toilet seat down!

You can read more of my take on menial things and the humor I find in it all on my blog Erica Jacquline.  Follow along on Bloglovin - Twitter - Instagram 

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what makes my relationship work

Whenever I post about relationships around here, I really try to emphasize the fact that all relationships are different. I mentioned in this post that I've learned not to compare my relationship to others, and I believe it honestly makes a huge difference in your happiness. Every couple has their own dynamic, their own traditions, their own style of showing affection. I don't think that there is a "right" way and "wrong" way to do most things in a relationship. Sure, cheating is clearly wrong, and showing someone you care about them surely is the right thing to do, but there really isn't a set way to do things regarding most aspects of a relationship. I get quite a few emails asking for relationship "advice" and asking what makes our relationship work, so I thought I would just share a little more about the dynamics of my relationship. Its probably nothing you haven't heard, but yolo.
We're the kind of couple that shares everything. We talk about our feelings. We talk about poop. We literally can talk about anything and everything. We talk pretty much all day long, and we keep each other updated on what were doing, who were with, and all of that jazz. Not in a controlling way by any means though, were just always texting and talking about what we're doing and stuff. I think that this really helps with our trust. I never have to worry about where he's at or what he's doing. If one of us is going somewhere where we won't be able to talk for a while, we tell each other. Its nice knowing that no matter what he's doing, he's thinking about me.

We're the kind of couple that does all of the cheesy crap. We "argue" over who loves the other more, we send long texts before bed about how much we love each other, we send each other care packages, we talk about how amazing our future together is going to be, we talk about what we're going to name our kids. That might make some of you want to throw up, and I don't blame you, but it works for us. We're not together right now, so thinking about the future when we are together brings us happiness. All of the cheesy texts and things we do help us remind each other how much we care, since we can't do that in person every day.

We're the kind of couple that enjoys doing nothing. When we're together, we have fun being at home. We can lay around all day watching movies and doing nothing, and it can still be the best day ever. We go walk around places, go out to eat, see movies, and all of that fun stuff too, but we're perfectly content just enjoying each other's company. It's so nice to have someone you can relax with and that you can have fun doing boring things with, you know? We can have fun cleaning or grocery shopping or doing laundry!

We're the kind of couple that makes fun of each other. He has a HUGE forehead, and I love making fun of him for it. He teases me right back! He's my best friend. We can be silly and pick on each other and goof around, and I love that.  I'm not a very serious person, and neither is he, but we can also be serious when we need to be.

We support each other, put each other's wants and needs before our own, we communicate and trust each other, and we have fun together. We love each other wholeheartedly and we never let each other forget it. We just get each other. I know that I'm so lucky that I have such an amazing man in my life, but its not all luck. We work together to make our relationship what it is. I'm not saying that all relationships should be like ours, but what we have works for us. Really the only advice I have on the matter is to find whatever works for you as a couple. There is no secret formula to a successful relationship. If you're happiest when you're out doing things, then go out! If you're happy at home, spend your nights together with some Netflix. If you love the hopeless romantic cheesy shit, stay home, make a romantic candlelit meal ,and slow dance in the kitchen!

What makes your relationship work?
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